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Wednesday, June 06, 2007

what's wrong?

there's something wrong with me... what's wrong?

i have no idea. :(

i don even have an idea of how this post should continue. but just thought that writing it down might more or less give me a clearer idea of what's happening to me. well, i hope so.

ok, i guess i should have say things have been going wrong since... i made the choice for my tertiary education. it was the wrong choice. that's the only thing i can say.

ya, so it was the wrong choice made. but i give it my best. and hope that everything will turn better. i truly believe the phrase that 'when things are so bad, they'll only turn better'. but...my 'better' never came. no, it nvr got worse. but it was stagnant.

i wonder what more can i do to help myself and get myself out of this sticky, silly mess i've self-created. this terrible question just keep coming back to me: will i stay like this forever?

i'm tired. REALLY.

tired of thinking and considering for everybody (except myself) before making a decision.

tired of being funny and all but deep inside i feel terrible.

tired of trying to run away and trying to ignore all my problems.

no, i'm not blaming anybody. because i believe its MY fault. not my parents, nor my friends or even my religion. there's no such things. when things goes wrong, only i can help myself.

just that i really have no idea how to help myself at all. perhaps to try again? or to start believing in my reglion?

i dunno.

right. i'm tired of trying to help myself.

bleah, what a lousy day.

and i end this, with a reminder to myself...to pick myself up again.

Labels: life

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